not how you want to be doin'
I'm sure you're all guilty of lying about how you're doin'. When someone asks, "Hey, ____ how ya doin'?" I bet that you will almost always answer by saying good, fine, swell, so on and so forth... It's no surprise any more when you ask someone how they're doin' becuase it's always the same answer.
I know that everyone wants to put on a good face for others, but shouldn't there be a line at which you shouldn't cross? If you are guilty of doing what I'm talking about then you have to come to a conclusion, is there something wrong with you or are you just scared to tell how it is? I bet that even, the always blunt, Muggaz is guilty of this one. I know I am.
I found it to be strange that my pastor even thinks this is a serious problem, because you know he's got to get tired of greeting people to find that everyone's "good". You would have thought he liked us being good, but I think the problem is that he knows that not that many people can all be doing "good" every time he seems them.
I was talking to bigdreamer a little bit ago and of course we asked each other how we were. I said something the lines of being good except for being extremely tired, but basically I said, "I'm good." Then, later in our conversation I asked her, "How about you? How are you doin'?" Guess what she said... I'll give you two guesses. She, too, said that she was doing good. Now, I don't think she was lyeing to me just because everyone says it, but it reminded me of how often we lie so that no one knows how much we want to fit in with 'everyone else'.
I then brought up the subject I am talking to you about right now. At first she said that if she wasn't doing good than she'd say so. Just a few seconds later she changed on me and told me about how she went to church and told people a few times that she was doing ok, even though she really wasn't. I'm just going to leave it at that, so I don't offend her. (I'm sorry if you didn't really want me to use you as an example.)
I'm sure my next point is at least known to all of you... Notes! How hard do you find it sometimes to read "Hey wuz up?! Not much here. How ya doin'? I'm doin pretty good except for..."? I must admit that sometimes I want to just lash out when I have to read that stuff. I know it's fake. It's like we have gone from starting with 'Dear Mr./Mrs. ____' and gone to 'Hey wuz up?! ...'
When you read a note, the person who wrote it most likely wants you to feel good at the beginning so you will read the rest of the note. That's probably why it has become second nature for people to start out like that? Now, you start reading, you like the beginning because it seems happy, and then, almost instantly, the note goes bad. Someone's cheating on you, your friend got in a fight, your biggest 'enemy' got yelled at, something like that. It almost always happens.
Then, there's always the grand "How ya'll doin'?" When you go to a concert and the artist yells, "Hello _____!" and then you get "How's everybody doing tonight?" What do you get each time? Cheers of 'happiness'? No, cheers of momentary comfort. While some of the audience may really be having a good time, there's a good number of people out there screaming their heads off when they know their life is sucking at the moment. How can people do that on purpose? Going to something like that is like taking yourself somewhere to lie as loud as you possibly can.
Someone's day just died... how are they doin? good
Someone's dog just ran away... how are they doin? good
Your best friend was raped... how are you doin? good
You wrecked your car, endangering others' lives... how are you all doin? good
Are you noticing a patern yet? We lie to look good. If people would only realize what they are doing by always saying they are doing good, you would hear more replies like, not too great, sucky, could be better, alright I guess, good, alright, awesome, this day has been a living HECK!!!
That's what I want to see (well hear)! I want the truth, even if it DOES hurt. The truth is easier to treat than a lie. If you are being beaten by your parents and you say you're good you are endangering you life. If you say that your life is horrible and you want it to stop, than people can help more easily. It's almost all about being honest with yourself AND others.
Have you ever gone to a party and asked a friend how they were doing? I wonder how many said they were miserable.
Have you ever entered a restaurant such as Olive Garden, and been asked how you doing this evening? I bet you said you were wonderful, or something like that.
Why do we have to lie to look good? I know I've said this same thing several times in this one article but I can't stress enough, how hard you should work to tell the truth about how you are doing.
I believe I have said some contreversial things and I am willing to discuss any disagreements. I just don't want to argue disagreements. If you want to argue that's fine, I will, but I think just discussing it calmly will help to make your 'good' day, truly, a good day.
Capt. over and out!