I was just thinking... I tend to try and be as calm as I can, and not get upset. I don't think I've really been upset enough to hurt someone in around 4 or 5 years. Maybe even longer. I can't remember. My parents are divorced, my oldest sister is a drug addict, she lost her first 3 children to her ex-husband, and her last child; she put up for adoption; is with my uncle. My next oldest sister had a child with a man who already had 2 children and a wife. My mom cries all the time because of all she has to do to keep them from loosing everything, and my little sister and I have a pretty good life other than for these few things.
It seems like no matter how much wrong someone has done to me, I still refuse to get mad. I hardly even show any emotion other than happiness, which I KNOW isn't always what I feel. My voice doesn't show the difference in how I'm feeling most of the time, so even when I am mad no one knows it.
Some little kid was throwing rocks at my car today and the first thing that I did was tell him not to hit the windows. I didn't even get up or try and scare him away. I just told him not to go too far.
Then some other kid jumped into my car and started looking around in it, and I said it was ok because I still had my phone, keys, and wallet on me.
Do you think I have anger-management problems?
There's definitely more things that I could talk about that make me "upset" but don't get to me because I refuse to allow it. Should I just allow my problems to get to me and react with instinct, like most people would? I just feel like my "happiness" is an act that I can't stop performing. I'm not sure if you understand, but if you do could you please give me some advice? This is truly something I need some help figuring out, and I know that my mom doesn't take this seriously enough, because I've asked her about it and she made it seem like I was just joking around.
That's all for now. If you have something to share with me, please let me know...
Capt. over and out!