After tearful goodbyes, Sodom and I set out for a new planet. We didn’t really know
where would be best so we decided to just fly until we saw something interesting. It didn’t take
long. Jupiter and Pluto aren’t too close but the incredibly fast and powerful spaceship I designed
got us there in a flash.
As we approached the smallest planet, Sodom pointed out a strange creature sitting on top
of the planet. The alien was truly gruesome, from head to foot. It’s five feet were a shade of
green that reminded me of something Sodom had once pulled out of his nose. Four of these five
feet were attached to one leg and one foot attached to the other. Two tiny stick-like legs was all
that allowed him to stand. His torso was also severely deranged. Misshapen ribs protruded from
the creature’s chest. His bones were covered only by a thin layer of neon clear skin. His battered
face looked like he had just won a competition of who could bash their head into a cement wall
the most. One ear twisted across his head, while the other much smaller one looked as if it had
been bitten off. His three crooked noses jutted out in odd angles. His burning red eyes gave the
impression he was infected with rabies. I turned towards Sodom. Sodom was staring at the alien
with a mixture of wonder and disgust. I smirked. Turning back to Sodom, to comment on the
alien’s shabby appearance, something terrible hit me. Sodom wasn’t glancing in horror or in
disgust, he was gazing in love. My alien friend was in love! With this!
I became extremely jealous. How could my best follower betray me like this, especially
with such scum. In anger and frustration I shot at the terrible alien. Insane with rage I shot
millions of bullets, missiles, and bombs. . Dodging to escape my bullets, he fell off the tiny
planet of Pluto into the vastness of outer space. I breathed a sigh of relief. However, to my
dismay, I knew that this would not be the last encounter with the horrible creature. I decided to
call the disgusting alien Justin Timberlake, a name that suits him well.
Looking at Sodom, I became even angrier. He was crying.
“How could you?” he snivelled.
SMACK! I back-handed Sodom so hard, it nearly knocked him out of the ship.
“You stupid, filthy, no-good, rotten traitor! I screamed, I am your commander, how dare you
defy me so much as to go and do something as disrespect able as this! I have a good notion to
make you ride on the roof for the rest of the ride!”
“No” Sodom whaled. I began to relax.
“Alright, you can stay” I said. “Sorry for my rash and drastic actions.” I reached over calmly and
patted Sodom on the knee, “Sorry old friend, but you mustn’t ever do that again.” Sodom agreed
but I saw him steal a quick yearning glance out of the space ship’s back window. Is Sodom
becoming weak I wondered? Should he still be part of my crew? Wait and see I suppose.
As we neared Pluto I realized that I had wasted all over my weapons except for the
nuclear bomb.
Of course I couldn't move on with this limited amount of ammo so I decided to just take Pluto as a projectile weapon. Now, this may be a small planet, but it's a big rock and it is taking up about 2% of our cargo space, so I have decided to launch a couple of slaves... or umm... troops into space to make room for the ammo.
I figured 31.35 men would do fine. Since rounding takes too much time I chose to just through 0.35 men out along with the other 31. This clearing did just fine. The only problem was that I actually only needed to throw out a potato chip to make enough room for there to be comfortable living space.
Well, I guess we'll have to make up for it at the next pottie break.
Roger that!
10-4
Capt. over and out!