To this day I have yet to find the key that unlocks the chains holding you down. You struggle for a short time but then get worn out and depleated. Why you don't just give up and let others help I'll never know. These chains are too strong for you (though I thought you stronger than this). How could you let yourself be beaten and bound by something so simple? To this day I have yet to forgive you for wimping out and losing all the great things you once had.
Dad...
To this day you disgust me. I love you but you won't let us help. You have a chain of smoking, a chain of drinking, a chain of mistrust, a chain of lust, a chain of lies holding you down. You can win if you just stop fighting and let someone help. We still love you even though you are too weak. I cry for you because you lost to something so simple.
Dad...
All you had once... your wife, your kids, your house, your friends, your respect have gone now. Your wife seperated herself because you weren't there for us, your kids left you because you lied to us, your house is gone because you wouldn't stop, your friends are gone because they lost faith in you, your respect is gone because you won't let us help.
Dad...
I love you. Please let me (let us) help you. Don't hide when asked to show up for us, don't add to the lies when we ask for truths, don't smoke or drink when your loved one's are hurt by it, don't wear a mask when others just want to see the nice old you, don't keep trying alone when there are so many others waiting to help.
Dad... let us love you.
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I wasn't exactly sure what words to use to express my frustration but this is the best I could come up with for my sudden frustration with my father... he didn't really do anything to cause it. I just basically realized that he's still the man my mom doesn't love anymore and the man that wasn't there for his kids. I really get mad when I see him sometimes, because he's with the wrong family now. He should be with us again. I miss my dad being around even during those few moments that he's home... Now I can only see him every other weekend because he's not working those weekends and he doesn't come to my house after work anymore. I miss the way he always made everyone mad with his insane snoring and nasty feet. I miss my daddy because I never got a fair share of time with him (and same goes for my sisters I'm sure).
I wish I could say these words to him but I don't want to hurt him and push him further away...
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Capt. over and out!